Top 10 Inked Pornstars? ...Sorry April, But You've Got It All Wrong!

Top 10 Inked Pornstars
Top porn review site Rabbit’s Reviews recently published their Top 10 Inked Pornstars list, as chosen by April Scott. When I saw the title, I was eager to read on, hoping to find, well I don’t know, but something more interesting than what is there – a list of the top 10 most well known pornstars with tattoos. Predictable and boring to say the least, showing little creativity or knowledge of the subject by the author.

I would not be at all surprised if this list was compiled by typing “inked pornstars” in to Google and copying the top 10 results, writing a generic caption for each.

I’m sure there are many people who might agree with the list, and I agree with a few of the choices, but I thought I’d come up with my own personal top 10, as somebody who actually has some interest in the topic:

  1. Joanna Angel Skin Diamond
  2. Top 10 Inked Pornstars - Joanna Angel

    Image courtesy of Burning Angel

    Top 10 Inked Pornstars - Skin Diamond

    Image courtesy of Skin Diamond VIP

    Joanna Angel, while sweet, has got to be the most predictable #1 ever. She started what is probably the most active and popular alt porn site on the internet – Burning Angel – and she’s starred in her fair share of movies. But, let’s be honest, what has she done recently? A few scenes in which she looks tired and bored, kinda how I feel on a Friday afternoon after a hard weeks work.

    Your #1 needs to be somebody fresh and active, who still loves what they do and isn’t afraid to push the boundaries. And so, I present to you Skin Diamond. She’s cute, has a great personality, and is willing to star in pretty much any kind of scene that gets thrown her way, from your standard B/G hardcore scene, to being gangbanged and bukkake’d by 10 or more guys.

    In the last 12 months she has made her directorial debut with the film Skin Diamond’s Dollhouse*, featured on CNBC’s The Dirty Dozen: Porn’s Most Popular Stars, and was Penthouse’s Pet of the Month last July. This all in addition to her previous accomplishments, such as being featured in Cosmopolitan magazine and posing for the Daredevil: End of Days comic book series.

    This is a girl who has not only been places, like Joanna Angel has, but is constantly going places. This is what, for me, gets her the top spot on my list.

    * which is also great by the way, expect a review coming soon, once we get our shit together!

  3. Bonnie Rotten Kleio Valentien
  4. Top 10 Inked Pornstars - Bonnie Rotten

    Image used courtesy of Evil Angel

    Top 10 Inked Pornstars - Kleio Valentien

    Image used courtesy of Burning Angel

    Don’t get me wrong, I understand Bonnie Rotten‘s popularity and accomplishments. My only gripe is that I feel they are ill deserved. As I’ve said before, prior to her boobjob she was cute and always drew my attention, but since getting her implants her boobs look so fake, like some sort of add-on for a Mrs. Potato Head toy – generic, boring and bolted on. I just don’t seem to find her really all that attractive any more. Despite her continued taking the porn world by storm, with such chart-topping features as Meet Bonnie and The Gangbang of Bonnie Rotten, and winning both the Best Group Sex Scene and Female Performer of the Year at last years AVN Awards, she just looks a little long in the tooth for my delicate eyes.

    In second place I have to add a girl, who ironically also has fake tits, but still looks as hot as she ever did – Kleio Valentien. Initially her boobs looked ugly and toy-like, much like Bonnie’s, but now look natural and awesome. She got her break appearing in a number of scenes for Burning Angel, and every one since then just seems to get better. She appears further down in Rabbit’s list, but I had to give her a promotion.

  5. Christy Mack Monique Alexander
  6. Top 10 Inked Pornstars - Christy Mack

    Image courtesy of Evil Angel

    Top 10 Inked Pornstars - Monique Alexander

    Image courtesy of Brazzers

    I’ve got to be honest on this one – it wasn’t until recently that Christy Mack entered my radar. I’m not sure why, maybe I’m getting slow in my old age, or maybe she’s just come such a long way in a short space of time. Whatever the case, I can’t have her in my top three, purely because I don’t know enough about her and haven’t seen enough of her scenes to make such a hard judgement*.

    With that in mind, in at number three, and possibly a controversial choice given she’s only recently become heavily tattooed enough to really be considered “inked”, is Monique Alexander. She’s been in the industry since 2001, started doing B/G scenes in 2005, and anal sex scenes in 2007. She’s still performing and keeps in touch with her huge fanbase through social media and her personal website.

    * don’t worry, she does feature further down my list.

  7. Kleio Valentien Evelyn Cates (XOEve)
  8. As you may have noticed, Kleio features higher on my list, so no need to go over the reasons why she’s been promoted again here.

    Filling her spot, in at #4, is Evelyn Cates, regularly simplified down to XOEve as the name of her website. Prolific on social media and MyFreeCams, this asian alt beauty was nominated in 2013, and won in 2014 The XBiz Web Star Of The Year award.

    She used to blog regularly, often sharing a lot of free content, but recently she’s stopped and seems to be working harder to promote her members only website – fair enough – but this lack of engagement with a large portion of her fanbase is why she didn’t feature higher on my list.

  9. Mason Moore Elouise Please
  10. Come on, we’re only at #5 and this list is just becoming a joke at this point. Fucking Mason Moore – not just another fake-titted bimbo, but her facial plastic surgery is fucking disgusting. Fuck knows how many face-lifts this bitch has had, but you can barely make out what’s supposed to be where, couple this with her botched nose job and massively plumped up lips plus the fact that she’s still performing, and you’re already half-way through the train wreck, and I know I don’t want to see the end of it.

    With this odd job cosmetic surgery nightmare off the list, we’ve got us some room for a true beauty and a really nice girl – Elouise Please. Again, she may have fake boobs, but they actually look natural and getting them done has actually enhanced her look.

    Her accomplishments are limited, maybe leaving you to question why she features this high up on my list? Well just because I think she’s great and I fucking say so.

  11. Masiumi Max Christy Mack
  12. Whoa whoa whoa whoa …whoa. Hold your fucking horses. I have nothing against Masiumi Max, aside from the fact I don’t think she deserves to be in my top 10. But how can you count her fire-eating performances as justification for ranking in a list of pornstars?

    Fuck her right off and Christy Mack can slide right in here …see, I told you she’d still feature on my list. I think I pretty much explained it further up. Go read it again if you want.

  13. Catherine Tayler Karmen Karma
  14. I don’t even know why the barely known Catherine Taylor is on this list. She may be a ‘star‘ in the cam world, but outside of that she hasn’t really done anything of note.

    I might let that slide (I’ve got other cam girls on my list) if she was even hot, but she’s not. Don’t get me wrong, I like a girl with curves, but she’s just overweight – probably the only way she can keep those massive tits, which seems to be the only thing that keeps people coming back to her.

    The beautiful Karmen Karma is her replacement. Also known as The Deepthroat Queen, this tattooed babe can suck a dick like no other. Every hardcore scene I see her in is proper fucking hardcore, the way it should be.

    Featuring in the latest New Sensations release The Sexual Desires of Karmen Karma, this 3 hour long epic featuring Karmen in all 6 scenes is fucking great. I don’t really need to say anything further than to go watch it and you’ll see why she’s on this fucking list!

  15. Britney Shannon Juliette Black
  16. I don’t necessarily have a problem with Britney Shannon being on this list, I also think she’s pretty fucking hot too. But, just to quote the caption where there should be a reason:

    She also has Marilyn Monroe’s signature inked on the back of her thighs. She also has one of Monroe’s quotes on her back.

    What in the hell is going on here? Not only is this completely fucking irrelevant information boring, but it’s clear this list was literally hacked together from different little pieces – “She also […]”. “She also […]”. – Christ, that’s worse fucking grammar than me! Just writing shit like:

    April: “she’s got a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe’s signature on her legs yeah?”

    Person 2: “yep, yep…”

    April types away…

    April: “she’s got a quote on her back too yeah?”

    Person 2: “yeah…probably…”

    April types away…

    Fuck that, she’s off the fucking list, even if she maybe doesn’t deserve it.

    We’re at #8 and I still haven’t mentioned Juliette Black yet. Fuck. Well, here she is…

    …Juliette, Juliette, Juliette, where do I start. Starting out, and still, shooting for Burning Angel, I think she’s probably the third BA girl on my list now. She’s a petite girl and has a really innocent look about her, which is why I probably find her so appealing. Outside of Burning Angel, the scenes she shoots all seem to be hardcore BDSM where she’s the innocent and willing sub getting dominated and abused…need I say more?

  17. Angelina Valentine Dollie Darko
  18. Arrgghhhhh!!! Avert thine eyes, lest ye be blinded by the horror that is Angelina Valentine. I’ve seen her looking sexy, once upon a time, before she was even inked I think. Maybe back in like 2009 when she won the XRCO Deepthroat Award. But since then, it’s just been a downward spiral of getting fucking abused, getting plastic surgery, fucking transexuals, getting more plastic surgery…ad infinitum, and you see what we have here now.

    Even Rabbit’s own review of her website only gives it 70%. How in the hell did she make it on to any top 10 list? Maybe it was that YouTube clip you caught recently “where she talks about a few of [her tattoos]”?

    Hailing from the inner pages of Suicide Girls comes Dollie Darko. Only recently getting her start in hardcore, she’s already been nominated for and AVN Award. At the beginning of this month she signed with 101 Modeling and announced that she has another 5 hardcore scenes already shot and waiting to be released. Fuck, I cannot wait!

  19. Scarlett Pain Romi Rain
  20. And here comes another one! You rated Scarlett Pain‘s website a shockingly low 59%, yet somehow she makes it in to your top 10?! If I’m correct, you’re not even sure if she’s still performing, right? Well…

    The smoking hot Romi Rain just slips in to the last spot on my list. That tattoo on her back is something else, and the perfect thing to look at if you’re slamming her from behind, which is what seems to happen in most of her scenes. In particular her most recent first anal scene for Brazzers, which is something to definitely check out.

I almost can’t believe that some of my pretty obvious choices didn’t even appear on Rabbit’s list, beaten to the post by whoever came up higher on Google.

Oh well, I’ve had my little rant for the day. Now it’s your turn…

…I’m sure you’ve all got your own opinions too. Have I missed anybody out? Who’s in your top 10?